Making Christmas cards is the most simple thing, right? There’s no sellotape. No scissors. There aren’t rolls and wraps of wrapping paper. Only a pen, a card, and the words you want to use. But, there’s no page. It taunts. The way it makes fun of. “You’ll never have an idea that’s funny!’ it chuckles. ‘Wit!? What is wit! Is that it. Don’t be afraid. Help is on the way. Do not resort to the typical “Merry Christmas!” alternative. This is old news. It’s time to put a big , fat smile on the face of someone as they open their envelope of a Christmas card. From your grandmother to your grumble of a friend Here are ten hilarious Christmas card messages to test out this Christmas season:
1. I’ve have put so much thought into the present that it’s too late to buy it. I wish you a Merry Christmas.
A well-known Christmas joke. Did I give you a present? Haven’t I? It doesn’t matter what you bought them a present. What do you think of me being hilarious? Laughter is a Christmas present. Give it to someone you love (you might decide to give the card as a gift).
Come and buy rude Christmas cards at Obscenity Cards!
2. Don’t we just have to get rid of to wear those flimsy jumpers? la la!
A message that is as sexy and snarky as the traditional Christmas jumpers that it evokes. This type of joke about Christmas is completely out of the ordinary – it’s absurd, uninspiring and silly… as well. what’s funny about this?
3. I’d say all I’d like this Christmas is you, but what about that bag…
Handbag. Watch. Pony. Incorporate your best Christmas wishes however you think the best way to do so. Remember that must-have item in the middle of your Christmas wish list. It’s the one Mariah would have liked.
4. The Christmas season is a time that everyone would like the past to be forgotten and their present to be remembered.
Okay we’ve borrowed this song. We thank the legendary actress and stand-upcomedian, Phyllis Diller but we’re taking the credit and taking it to the next level.
5. Being on the good list will get you more gifts. However, being naughty has the reward in itself…
This isn’t one for grandmother’s card. This isn’t the type of card that grandma would want for her Christmas card.
6. Why do Dasher as well as Dancer always taking breaks for coffee? Since they’re Santa’s starbucks!
The dad joke will live on forever. That is to say, everyone is unlikely to like this joke unless your dad.
7. What is an unruly child who doesn’t want to be able to sit with Santa on his lap? Claustrophobic!
Old-fashioned word games. Get rid of Christmas crackers, the best jokes begin when your Christmas cards are slipping through the lettersboxes.
8. Three words that describe Christmas are Peace on Earth Goodwill to men and batteries not included.
In all seriousness the question is why batteries aren’t included in Christmas gifts?
9. Christmas has been postponed. It appears that you’ve said to Santa that you’ve done a great job all season… You passed out in laughter…
What could be more funny than Santa throwing a bucket at the kids? Though, it’s probably not a joke for kids.
10. You’re not alone!
Since Christmas is a time to indulge in the cheese (both literally as well as metaphorically) we conclude with a fun and cheesy ending. Guaranteed to put a jolly smile on the face of someone.